Active, effective and non-judgemental listening is one of the hardest skills I have set out to acquire. It requires more control over your own feelings and thoughts than I would have ever imagined. It pushes one to be selfless, focused, aware, sensitive and tough in that moment; to forget one's own past and future and just to exist with the other in his/her words. I struggle the most when listening to someone I don't agree with; at times it is like having blurry vision - I want to voice my own opinion without asking what exactly they need from me - then I shake my head and the human being in front me materialises into a sharp visual with his/her own unique experiences and perspective. Then I am there with their words and emotions, then I can be who he/she needs me to be.
I struggle the most with people I don't necessarily like; my social anxiety forces me to fill the air with my own perspective due to the fear that my dislike will manifest itself as disrespect if I don't control the conversation flow. Then I take a deep breath and remind myself I have limited understanding of the world around me and only through active listening I can challenge those limitations; then the human being in front of me becomes the teacher to help me understand myself better in the long run. Then I can sit there attentive, selfless, sensitive and tough.
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